I Believe In Immediacy.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

That phrase has never been more clear than tonight.  Let's just say that a casual Bible Study was anything but.  I won't bore anyone with the details, because even I am tired of thinking about them.  I've just come to realize that I completely despise people who are purposely ignorant.  They are aware that they don't know things, and yet they choose to not resolve it.  Or, they are so completely close minded that they can't see any viable option beyond their own feet.  Gah.  That's enough.

I've decided that I need to read more.  Not just magazines or television episode summaries, but actual books.  Fiction and non-fiction alike.  My most recent read was "The Only Road North" by Erik Mirandette.  I would strongly suggest it to anyone.  Based on a true story, it follows the adventure of four men who, after landing on the continent of Africa, travel on dirt bikes from Cape Town to Cairo.  Ah-mazing.  I'm currently reading two other books: "The Orphaned Anything's" by Stephen Christian and "Bella" by Lisa Samson.  While it's a little confusing to get the story lines straight, I am loving both.

On a completely unrelated note: I have this strange desire to paint my nails green.  Not like an emerald green or a lime green.  And for lack of a better description, I want a "bold middle green".  Not sure exactly what color that really is, but I'll keep my eyes open.  Like I said, completely frivolous, but it keeps life fun.  And maybe with bright green nails, it'll keep me calm enough to not want to rip all my hair out next week at Bible Study.  Here's to hoping!

Wrapped In My Memory.

WARNING: This post filled with an absolute purging of my emotional-ness.  It was a tough day.  Be prepared.  Well, at least you were warned.

I went to the world's BEST memorial service today for my dear friend MaryAnn (aka Double Trouble; quite a nickname for a 67 year-old lady).  Surprising to say when it comes to a situation like that, but it truly was.  I don't know how else to describe it besides a true party.  There had to be at least 1,000 attendees.  And knowing her, she wouldn't have it any other way.

It was tough seeing all those people that I had planned on never seeing again.  And holding my tongue about how much they all hurt her by not keeping in touch was even tougher.  But all the while, I had to remind myself to be less selfish, because she impacted all of their lives in some way as well.  It wasn't only my life that she touched, but thousands of others.  However, I was incredibly blessed because during the slideshow, one of the photos was her and I from my graduation.  I about lost it all right there.  Afterwards, I was speaking with her husband, Joe (who is by the way, the world's sweetest guy), and he said, "She really loved you, you know?".  It was something I had always known, but it was wonderful to hear.

While listening to all the speakers tell of their favorite memories of her, I couldn't help but thinking of my own favorite times with her.  First, I cannot overlook the first time we met.  It was a connection of kindred spirits from the start.  She always used to tell me that we were so similar, that it was almost scary.  And we really were.  For goodness sakes, we even had matching sweatshirts that say 'Trouble" and "Double Trouble".  And we kept true to our namesakes.  

We would spend hours in her office, talking about absolutely nothing, but having a sensational time.  She'd get me out of classes, just so we could spend time together and eat our weight in Reeses Peanut Butter cups, or cry about the hardships of life.  We were quite a pair.  I remember a time when she made me pretend to cry, because she saw the teacher whose class I was skipping coming around the corner.  She told him that I was just having a "tough day" and needed a break.  She was a genius.  And she totally had my back.

One of the times when we completely lost it because of our ridiculousness, was Christmas shopping at Target last year.  She had asked if I would take her out, because the normal people that took her were the ones she wanted to shop for.  So, I picked her up and after running a few errands, we finally arrived at Target.  She decided that she should grab one of those motorized carts, because we didn't know how long it was going to take us.  Actually, rewind that.  We knew EXACTLY how long it was going to take us...forever.  There was only one scooter left, and apparently it was a little...off.  Well, it went forwards fine, but whenever it stopped this horrible buzzer went off, and a ear-piercing beep when it went backwards.  Since it was the only one left, we decided it couldn't be THAT bad.  Well, it was.  The buzzer went off so many times, that rather than stopping, she'd just creep along the aisles, and if we didn't see everything we needed, she'd make this huge loop around all the other aisles to get back to the one she wanted.  It was hilarious!  After over 2 hours of craziness, I'm sure the Target employees were glad to see us leave, and enjoy the silence of our no-longer-beeping scooter.

All in all, she was one of the best friends I've ever had.  I don't even think it's sunk in that I won't get to go out for coffee with her again.  Or call her when I've had a bad day.  Or buy matching rings.  Or share utter ridiculousness with.

But thanks to our common bond in Jesus, I know that I will see her again.  Not like she was, but how she was always meant to be.  It'll be perfect.  There are not many things that I know without a doubt.  But, of that I am absolutely sure.

Click Click Click Click.

Well, I'm back. Sort of. I'm back in the fact that I think I'll have more time to post again, but it's not like I ever left where I was. Life just happened, as it always does. It'd be nice sometimes if it would just stop. Like, putting life on pause. Ah, imagination.

I'm halfway through my Winter quarter of classes. I'm taking CAD 3D, which is difficult, but looks awesome when you're finally done. It's been five and a half weeks and all we've made is a room with two walls, windows, drapes, sofa, end table and lamp. That's it. So, you can see how long it'll take, but it does look really good. I'll have to post a photo when I'm finally done.

Also, I've been busy with church. It seems like I'm forcing myself to go in about eighty-five different directions at one time. First, I'm teaching the preschool class with my friend Janelle. It's about 20-25 wild and crazy rugrats that I absolutely adore. It's hectic at times, but I'm learning how to relate to them on their level, without treating them like idiots. I figured, if I treat them like pint-sized adults, things might turn out alright.  Well, it's still a work in progress.  I am so blessed that Janelle is helping me too.  Caroline used to be my right-hand gal, but after her sudden departure to Portland I had to replace her.  Janelle has filled in wonderfully and the kids love her.  It's funny how quick kids will get attached to someone.

Then, I've been involved with my young adults group.  Nothing more than I was doing before, but it just feels busier.  We've got the regular Sunday stuff, which I juggle between my preschool classes.  And then there's Bible Study, which I've taken upon myself to organize the teachers.  And by that I mean, I go around and assign everyone a week to teach and then I make sure that they know about it and show up.  And with all the newcomers, I try to make them feel as welcome as possible, although God knows I am not capable of doing it all or doing it perfectly.  

I don't currently have a job, but I'm looking for one.  Not too actively, but enough that keeps me annoyed.  It's one of those things where I want to have a job, but at the same time I don't.  I like the paycheck, but I don't like having to show up on time and do things that others tell me I have to do.  Ah, the inner turmoil I create for myself.

So, that's my current life in a nutshell.  Not much new, but it keeps me going.  Keeps my breathing.  Although, there's been a huge thing in my life that nearly took my breath away.

One of my dearest and closest friends in the entire world passed away a few weeks ago.  She had been in and out of the hospital for six years now, after having a liver and kidney transplant.  She was such a fighter, and this last time just took it out of her.  She simply couldn't hold on anymore.  And it hurts.  Terribly.  So much so that if I think about it too hard, I can't even breathe.  Since we met, we had always been incredibly close.  We were alike in so many ways, that she said I reminded her of when she was young, which is probably the biggest compliment I could ever get.  We even had matching rings on our hands, which is a huge thing, seeing as how I've never had matching anything with anyone.

We discussed praying for specifics yesterday at Bible Study, as in the case of Eleazar looking for a wife for Isaac.  The collective discussion was that if you pray specifically to God knowing that He will provide, He will.  While I wanted to yell, "No, that doesn't always happen", I sat there in complete silence.  I couldn't tell these people that I had specifically prayed for God to save my friend knowing that He could, and instead He decided to take her away.  It was just too much for me at one time.  Even this is too much, but if I don't talk about it, I think I might explode.

So, after getting all the daily life pleasantries out of the way, the above is how I am actually doing.  Kind of a complicated, and more-than-you-really-wanted-to-know kind of explanation.  Sorry to unload.

But on a happier note, I've started Round Two of the GOLD STAR CHALLENGE!!!  For those of you who have yet to receive your "prize" for participating in Round One, I sincerely apologize.  I will get to you, eventually.  Those of you who have gotten it can attest to it's greatness.  Or lack there of.  Either way, we're pushing forward to Round Two.  Scores are reset to zero.  So, have fun.

Until later...

P.S.  The last post is also up for grabs on the GOLD STAR CHALLENGE!!!  Go at it.