It has been absolutely forever since I've been here (I seem to say that every time I come back. Maybe I should change my bad habits...). Yes, I'm still alive.
Life has been going at a million miles a minute, and doesn't seem to want to slow down anytime soon. While that may sound like a complaint, it's actually a huge praise. I kind of like that constant, busy feel. I get more accomplished, although every now and then I want a day where I can just sit and do nothing if I choose. Guess I'll have to keep waiting.
I am currently sitting in a completely empty room at school waiting for my next final to begin. My third in a series of 4 was this morning at 8am. My next one doesn't start till 1pm. Got a "nice" long break. I did fine on my first 3 classes so far, so here's hoping that the fourth one goes just as smoothly.
So, I have a job. Well, technically it's a job. I'm assistant coaching varsity soccer again at my old high school. It's an incredibly small place, but the girls are just great. What they lack in soccer skills they make up for in wonderful personalities. Although, it looks like we actually have a chance to win some games this year. It's been 2 years of straight losses for our Lady Mustangs, and I can't bear to see them go through all of that again. To see the humiliation and defeat on their faces is just more than I can take. My goal is to not only teach them the game and a passion for it, but also something deeper that will affect their lives in the future. Haven't exactly decided what they will be, but i figure I'll leave that part up to God.
Speaking of God, He's always got something up his sleeve, eh? Well, as you might know I had a falling out with a few of my then-close friends about 2yrs ago. We've barely spoken to each other since, except for at funerals or randomly bumping into one another. Needless to say, a lot of this was my own choosing because I was so hurt by what had happened, I couldn't bear to go through it all every time I saw them. Well, God's really been placing it on my heart that I didn't handle it as perfectly as I could have back then, and by not forgiving them for what they did, it only put that stress on me. So, He's been encouraging me to get back in contact and at least make amends, if for nothing else but my own sake.
Taking a cue from the prophet Jonah, I decided that I knew what was better for my own life than God did. So, I refused to even think about meeting with them. Yet, even when we decide what's going to happen, it never does. It was a constant battle in my mind to stop thinking about them. It seemed that everywhere I went, something reminded me of them, or their names randomly came up in a conversation. I had nowhere else to go.
So, last Monday, I finally told God, "Fine, you want me to meet with them? Give me a clear sign." (In case you were wondering, that's not the best way to approach the creator of heaven and earth.) When I arrived at my first soccer practice of the season, guess who showed up to play on the team? The sister of one of these girls. She'd never played before in her life, but felt this was her year to try. It hit me like a rock. I knew that I had to get back in touch and apologize. So, next Monday evening I am meeting with the two of them for coffee, and we'll see what happens from there. I don't expect things to be the same as they were before, but I do desire to see a change in my life. I can't keep dwelling in this stagnant pond I've lived in for the past two years. I think no matter what happens, it'll be healthier for everyone.
So, that's my life in a nutshell. I get a week off after these finals, then classes start back up again. Woohoo. One of these days I'll be done. Until then...
