Get wings, take flight.

So, I'm back from beautiful Portland. It was an amazing and surprisingly relaxing trip. I loved spending time with Rachel and Charissa, and it was so nice to catch up with them again. I'd forgotten how much I really miss those girls. Trips to Portland will definitely have to be much more frequent.

Rachel and I arrived there on Wednesday afternoon, and after a full tour of Charissa's work, we went to a restaurant called the Laughing Planet, which served probably the best organic food ever. Yeah, I felt healthy and eco-friendly at the same time. Then, we walked over to the 2-dollar movie theatre, where we saw Enchanted. Now, it may be one of the corniest movies of all times, but it was so corny that it was terrific. Ah, corny never gets old.

The first stop on our coffee tour was a shop called Rimsky's Korsakoffeehouse. I'd give the coffee about a 8.5 out of 10, which on my discerning scale is actually pretty good. But, what you really go there for is the atmosphere. The whole place is eclectic to the max, with the upstairs wallpaper being cut-out magazine faces. All the tables have ticket stubs, notes, scribbles and everything else you could imagine on top, with some of the tables rotating. It's one of those places that you have to experience. Mere words are not enough to describe it. Oh, and if you ever do get to visit it, make sure you check out the bathroom. Trust me; it's worth it. [http://www.rimskys.blogspot.com/]

The next day, Rachel and I ventured out on our own over to 23rd street. While one of the stores we wanted was closed, and the other we missed, it was still amazing. All the little boutiques with completely unique pieces was awesome to see, and along the way we stopped in another coffee house. This one was called Cafe Reese, which had moderately decent coffee: I'd say 6 out of 10. But, after going there, Rachel and I started talking about the cafe, and we think that it might have been a gay coffee house. Yes, Rachel and Laura really are that oblivious. But, at least it makes for an amusing anecdote.

Continuing on our shopping day, we went to Lloyd Center, which was great and huge. After sauntering and taking our own sweet time, we picked up Charissa from work and decided that Target was the way to go. And can you believe that this Target actually had a shopping cart escalator? Yes, it was that good. We piled tons of clothes into the cart, along with basically anything else we thought was necessary. Shopping is way more fun when you're not the only one buying things, that way you get to spend everyone else's money too. Then, Charissa took us over to McMenamin's for dinner. Let me just say this: whoever was the genius that created cajunized tater tots there should be given an award. After returning to Charissa's current crashing pad, we got to meet everyone that was also 'living' there at the time. It was a great house of people who really love Jesus. There's just verses written all over the walls, on beams, on doors, and pretty much anywhere else you can think of. Ah, to have a house like that would be amazing.

Then on Friday, we woke up to snow. Yes, it's the end of March and there was snow. So, after everyone left the house, we played Beatles records way too loud and made 'Winnie the Pooh' pancakes. Then to complete our coffee tour, Charissa took us over to Stumptown, which is apparently the best coffee in Portland. I'd give it a good 8 out of 10. It's all very simple, with a real laidback, indie-rock feeling to it. Another good coffee choice. And then a trip to Powell's to finish off our trip. Powell's happens to be the largest bookstore in the U.S. Room after room, there's more books that you just have to buy. It's mesmerizing to see all those books. So much information to take in, and so little time.

Well, now that I've rambled on and on about a trip that hardly anyone even cares about, I think I'll go to bed. Either that, or I'll go check out the new PostSecret for the week. It's a toss-up. Thanks for listening.

Being vague is almost as fun as doing this other thing...

So, I haven't been away from my blog for that long, but apparently long enough for about a million things to change in life. Well, I'm now the 3rd most senior host at work, due to all the others girls quitting and/or getting fired. So, let's just say it's been very interesting there. And Caroline Watkins is working there with me too, so it makes the day go by so much better. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one there who also loves Jesus.

As for school, I finished my first quarter already. Yes, I know it sounds quick, but it was an accelerated quarter, with 4-hour classes, and just a 5 week term. Starting at the beginning of April it will go back to a normal 11-week term. Not nearly as much fun, but way less stressful. Let me just say, I don't like going back to school, but I know that in the long run it will definately be worth it. And, that whole I-feel-like-I'm-going-to-be-the-normal-one thing is still relevant, but I just found that I'm called to these people. I've already told the few people that I had classes with that I go to Mars Hill, and I even invited them, knowing that they would never say yes. I guess I actually like spending time with those people more because I don't feel like they're judging me all the time. They accept me for who I am, and what I like, regardless of how I look. I'm not going to lie: I really like it there.

Other than that, I haven't been doing much. Been way too busy between work and school to even think about doing anything else. It's like I don't have another life, which apparently I don't. But, I know that this is where God wants me to be right now. Whether or not it's my ideal choice doesn't matter. It's all up to Him. I find it's much easier to get through my day if I keep telling myself that.

Rachel and I are going down to Portland this week. It's only for a few days, but I can't wait to get away and not think about work or school. I've really missed seeing her, so to just spend a few days with her will be perfect (and the tax-free shopping can't hurt either!). Ah, to go on vacation, no matter how short it will be...

I'm just so tired of this.

Agh.
That's basically how I feel after the week I've had.
I could go on and on, but those of you who would actually care, already know.
So, I'll just leave it at that.
It's just nice to know that it's over, and I get a whole new week to start with.
Thank God for that.
You all have no idea.
Most people hate Mondays.
But personally, I can't wait for this one.
Bring it on.
After last week, I'm pretty sure I can take anything thrown at me.

Again? Seriously? SERIOUSLY???

So, good news. I've technically got ANOTHER blog, but this time it's not just my ramblings. There's actually a purpose to the other one. It's for the young adults group at my church. I figured it'd be the least I could do to help and get event info to everyone. So, if you go to Faith, or just want to show up at the events, you are more than welcome. Check out the site and let me know what you think...

www.faithyasm.blogspot.com

Well, hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin.

So many new things ALL happening at the same time. Let's see if I can keep them straight...

Well, I just started a new job. I'm now an official host at Red Robin ("Thanks for joining us today. How many in your party?"). It's not a tough job, and I like it enough. The other girls that I host with are nice, albeit young and completely immoral. I'm just praying that God gives me a heart like His to love and encourage them in the right way. So, it should be interesting.

Also, I'm starting school again! For all of you who said it would never happen, shame on you. Just kidding. But seriously... Anyways, I start next Monday at IADT Seattle. I'm going for my BFA, with a major in Interior Design (feel free to toss out the "art hippie freak" jokes now. Believe me, I've heard them all already). It's really something that I have a passion for, and I can't wait for it to start. It too will be interesting, though. Every time I've been to the school for various things, I find that I'm the one who looks like the stereotypical "normal" kid. And let's face it: I've never been that "normal" one before. It's not that I'm over the top extravagant, I'm just usually the one that everyone I know pegs as the "unusual" one. And I've been okay with that. So, it'll be different to be on the outside for another reason.

And I was supposed to have gone to Spokane last weekend, but alas it did not work out. The passes were so full of snow, that all three heading East were closed basically the entire weekend. Apparently, it's the first time it's been that bad in over 11 years. Of all weekends.... Oh, well. God has a purpose for everything, huh?

And I know I've said it before, but I cannot get over how amazing my church is. Last night, Pastor Mark spoke on faith and works. Listen to the podcast. You won't be disappointed. And if you miss the salvation message in it, you clearly weren't even listening. It was so blatantly obvious, and I smiled the ENTIRE time. And a big part was talking about regeneration, or the work that God does IN us. He gives us a new heart and new desires which coincide with what he wants for us. So amazing on so many levels.

Well, I guess that's all. Ah, to ramble and get it all out feels so good. And refreshing. I should do this more often.

Who wants to play a friendly little game of "Duck, duck, damn"?

So, I went to church tonight. Just saying that sentence makes me feel good all over. I'm glad I have that again. Anyways, at night I go to Mars Hill, which I'm sure I've mentioned before. Can I just say "wonderful"? Not only is the atmosphere incredibly welcoming and comfortable, but I feel a sense of conviction there that I just don't get other places. There's something about the teaching at that church that really hits me. Granted, Pastor Mark's delivery is quite amusing, but if it were only that, it wouldn't keep me coming back. I think it's all about the fact that nothing is sugar-coated or glossed over. It's hard-hitting, accurate theology. Before this church, I can't even remember when I felt so convicted every week. And I have to say as scary as that is, it's one of the best feelings as well.

Anyways, this current series we're going over is called "Religion Saves + Nine Other Misconceptions". Not only is the title brilliant, but the subjects are too. Pastor Mark is covering nine questions that the church body asked and then voted on. The top nine were chosen for this series (kind of like a take off on the book of Corinthians, with the apostle Paul answering that church's questions). This is the third week, and it was all about predestination. Now, I've always believed that God foreknew us and saved us, with absolutely no help from us. Because, if we had had a part in it, then it would have shown God to need us, which He clearly doesn't. Anyways, even though I'd always held this position to be true, I never understood it till tonight. It isn't a game of "duck, duck, damn", but rather God reaching out and saving us by GRACE. How amazingly awesome is that? Mere words cannot even say. And although I still do not have the knowledge to argue one position over the other, I know have the faith to believe one over the other. And that is comforting enough.

There's so much more I could go into, but I just can't right now. Sleepy eyes and lack proper grammer skills at this time of night. Check out their site to download the sermon. It's definitely worth it. Or check with iTunes. You won't be disappointed.

www.marshillchurch.org

This world sold it's faith for parking lots and drunk sincerity.

I'm allowed to have not-so-good days, right? Well, I sure hope so, because the past few days definitely qualified. Nothing big all at once, but just lots and lots of little things that kept falling on me. Like, when you're out in the rain and it's not coming down in sheets, but just enough so you can't wipe the water away from your eyes. That kind of bad day.

Well, I guess I'll start with some of the good type things. I went to a Doorstep event today, which is always rewarding in itself. I got to help with the eye exams, by filling out the forms and putting them in order when they were done. Anyways, it's nice to feel necessary, you know? It wasn't much, but just enough to make me smile.

It really all went downhill from there. I guess I can basically categorize the not-so-goodness into three categories: surface, internal, and soul-breaking sadness. Surface-wise, the Seahawks lost, 20-42, against the Packers. Yeah, it did suck that bad. I always have a positive outlook when it comes to my guys in blue, but it's really hard when everyone else around doesn't share that same view. It makes me feel sad, and breaks little bits of my confidence and enjoyment of the game and throws them away. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but I like feeling good about things. And I feel like I shouldn't anymore, you know? I guess it's a little tough to explain...

As far as internally, it's just been Christians who have been letting me down. Now, I firmly believe that no matter what people around me do, I will always believe in Jesus. After all, he's the only one that is perfect, and therefore the only one we should look too. But, there's usually a couple people who you put on that pedestal, kind of a current day example of what it means to live out Christ. Well, I have some friends like that. And I found out that everything I thought I knew about them was a lie. I believed them to be holy, upright and pure. Instead, I found them to be liars, cheaters and downright immoral. I didn't even know what to do. I no longer can trust a single thing they tell me, because everything I knew before was a lie. That basis of truth that I had is shattered, and I don't feel like investing the time to help rebuild it. I'm just too tired. Wow, that sounds incredibly selfish.

And now we get to the big kahuna: my soul-breaking sadness. (If you know me, I tend to be a little over-dramatic, but go with it. Sometimes, I actually hit it right on the nose.) Anyways, I found out recently that the church some of my friends go to believes that my church (Mars Hill in Seattle) is a cult. I've never talked to me friends about this, so I don't know if they believe this or not. If they don't, why would they keep attending and pledging themselves to a church that professes something other than what they hold to be true? And if they do think I am in a cult by attending my church, why wouldn't they try and stop me? If I had a friend trapped in a cult, I would do everything I could to get them out of it. I just don't see why they won't do the same for me. I guess it all comes down to someone caring enough to fight for you. And, as my friends that I've freely chosen, I had hoped they would care enough. When I was in high school, my guidance counselor always told me that I had no problem making friends. My only problem was meeting someone, and making them a lifelong friend, whether they wanted to or not. It's a blessing in some ways, but also a curse. (That's for you Monk fans out there.) I don't know when to let go, because in my mind, there is no time limit. Maybe I need to learn.

Ah. I feel somewhat better now. It's all out, and no longer bouncing around my head. It was starting to get dark and scary in there. Thanks for listening.